In my last blog about Happiness
, I wrote that “The meaning of Happiness changes over the course of one’s
lifetime.” Matters that causes great problems to a child may be of no
consequences to an adult. This is a very easy, but very complicated term that I
have been trying to understand.
In this article, I am trying to jot down few things that if we
stop doing in our personal or professional life, then we will be happier.
Comparing:
“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of
another.” - Marquis de
Condorcet
Comparing oneself to others is the main source of
insecurity, sets one up for mediocrity rather than real success, and drains one
of inner authentic power.
Now a days, it is very easy for us to compare with others, through Facebook, and hundreds of other social sites. But
constant comparison only bring us disappointments. No matter what, there will
always be someone who's at least one step ahead of us; and the perfect job,
spouse, salary, etc., will always remain elusive.
Elizabeth Weil recently interviewed University of California
psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky about this phenomenon for The New York
Times. In her article, "Happiness
Inc. ," she writes that, "As Dr. Lyubomirsky has found in her lab
(and many of us find around the office or at a bar), unhappy people compare a
lot and care about the results."
Blaming:
Start taking responsibility for yourself and stop giving
your power away. What this means is “you stop blaming others for what you have
or what you don’t have.” This is applicable for both personal &
professional lives. In professional life, your subordinates don’t meet
expectations, your seniors don’t recognize your hard work, vendors don’t
deliver on time, customers are very difficult to handle. In all these cases,
you are also to be blamed.
You should take responsibility when things go haywire and shouldn't
accuse others because it would not be considered masochistic, it's just empowering—because then you focus on
doing things better or smarter next time. And when you get better or smarter,
you also get happier.
Being Ungrateful:
Instead of thinking about what you don’t have, try thinking
about what you have and everyone else is missing. Sometimes, you would feel that all puzzle pieces of life
doesn't seem to fit together, but with time you will realize that they
do, perfectly. So, thank the things that didn’t work out, because they have
just made the way for others that will.
Remember that there is always something good in your life
and you are in a far better condition than a lot of others. If you don’t trust
me, then take a look at the news on any given day, you would find that there is
a lot in your life that you should be thankful for. Because this will
definitely make you feel happy.
